Baz's Army

GH kills time in Perth

‘This is a marathon, not a sprint,’ offered coach Brendon McCullum ruminating on England’s eight-wicket Ashes defeat in Perth - hardly a well-chosen metaphor, one might think, when his team had sprinted through two innings totalling 67.3 overs, and lost a Test in less than two days.

Everyone has won and all must have prizes

Because if it is a marathon, then why were England sprinting? Sprinting so that their underdone bowlers were back bowling five hours after ceasing their first-innings exertions; sprinting so that an Australian attack minus two of its marquee pacemen, and with its great spinner off the field injured, were made to resemble world beaters; sprinting so that a chance to pot Australia here for the first time in fifteen years went begging in a manic afternoon. Coach McCullum, by the way, called this ‘a bit of a collapse’, which is like calling the Wall Street Crash a technical correction and the loss of the Titanic a maritime misadventure.