(Bowling) Death In the Afternoon

James Bell would rather watch a bullfight than the IPL

‘The big hit - for six - is the most companionable of cricketing acts,’ said John Arlott. ‘Casting the unfortunate bowler in the part of clown, it infallibly puts crowds in a satisfied, laughing mood.’ Said the impresarios of this season’s Indian Premier League: ‘Send in the clowns.’ We have reached maximum maximums: a record 1349 before the play-offs, which begin tonight. You can basically rely on a six every second over.

As they measure everything in the IPL, so they have begun totting up who gets tonked most, with the hapless Anshul Kamboj topping the list - and it was Anshul’s plight that recently caught the eye of James Bell. As well as being a talented writer, James (RHB, RM) is a regular participant in Et Al’s winter weekend practice sessions, Yarras STU (Special Training Unit), and after our last hit slipped me this erudite response to 2026’s torrent of sixes. Please enjoy.

Did you know that the 2026 season of the IPL is still on? I’m struggling to believe it myself. The sheer frequency of these games is overwhelming. For Australian viewers, it becomes exceedingly difficult to keep up, especially given the inopportune time of the day it takes place.

As a cricket fan, however, I feel obligated to remain in the loop. So I attempted to catch up on all the mayhem after glimpsing the scorecard of match 59 of the tournament between Chennai Super Kings and Lucknow Super Giants. Like any time-conscious person, I rushed straight to the highlights.

Feeling somehow less patient with this abridged version of an already abbreviated format, I skipped to the second innings, where West Australian pair Mitchell Marsh and Josh Inglis were opening up. Even then I found myself drifting off. Every time I redirected my gaze back to my television, it seemed the ball was in the air, as if it were perpetually suspended there.

I stuck with the match long enough to witness its brutal finale, where Indian seamer Anshul Kamboj experienced potentially the worst night of his cricketing life. Kamboj bowled just sixteen deliveries for the game and was dealt figures of 0/63 thanks to Marsh, who launched ball after ball into the stands - a sight so familiar it may as well be omitted from a highlights package.