Cricket Beyond the Bizarre

GH on a record-breaking Boxing Day at the MCG

Sir Leonard Hutton once likened the MCG to a ‘giant colosseum where the thumbs are all pointed down.’ Today there were more thumbs than ever, attached to the hands of a world’s record cricket crowd of 93,400, and batting was haunted by a sense of encircling doom: twenty wickets fell for 266 runs in 457 deliveries on a pitch resembling a suburban median strip. Two batters exceeded 30; none made 50. Scott Boland faced the day’s last over as a nightwatchman, was dropped in the gully from the penultimate ball, and edged the last for four to the sound of the final reverberating local cheer.

Early on, it had been Barmy Army in good voice. Every team looks better after three practice matches, even if it’s a pity that England chose to make theirs the Perth, Brisbane and Adelaide Test matches. Now the Ashes are done, they might as well be playing for the FIFA Peace Prize. Still, after Ben Stokes won the toss, his bowlers hit consistently threatening lengths, and even the stumps - three bowleds and a run out in addition to five caught behind the wicket.

Or so England’s bowlers made it seem