Fear and Loathing on the Cricket Trail

A gonzo statto's journey

In February, Zimbabwe hosted Ireland for a single Test in Bulawayo, which turned into a minor key classic - Ireland’s third consecutive Test win, against the odds and the weather. Hard at work throughout was Cricket Et Al subscriber Rodney Ulyate, mentioned last week on the pod, employed as a statistician by an Emirates production house. If you’ve ever nursed fantasies of cricket media’s glamour, Rodney’s account is an excellent antidote.

For the freelance cricket statistician, the rhythms of employment have not a little of the glorious uncertainty of cricket itself. None of the glory, to be sure, but all of the uncertainty. Now his engagements wax, now wane anew, but work has a happy way of turning up just as he is beginning to think about getting a real job.

So it was for me in February of this year, when I was approached to cover Ireland’s all-format tour of Zimbabwe. The terms were modest, but even drizzle is welcome in time of drought. The rights holder, a UAE-based entity styling itself the Innovative Production Group (IPG), was new to me, but I had worked previously with some of the crew and most of the talent. It was an opportunity, too, to correct an oversight. Although I had lived most of my life just south of the border, I had never gotten round to crossing it. On Tuesday, February 4, therefore, I hailed a ride to Kempton Park and made the shortest international flight of my young(ish) life

Bustling Bulawayo

The first item of business was a Test Match—an old-fashioned, honest-to-goodness Test Match. No points, no tables, no “context”[1]—in short, no WTC. For Ireland and Zimbabwe, omitted from the grand design, this would be a match entire, whole in itself, kindled without borrowed flames. I’m pleased to report that it answered to the billing.