Here for a good time, not a long time

PL on veterans complaining about the brevity of England's Ashes preparations need reminding of the bad old days

In 2019, the Australians prepared for the Ashes with a practice match involving Australia A

England’s old men are not too happy with the touring team’s decision to skip first-class cricket and the prolonged acclimatisation process common on tours of yore.

Frankly, they may as well rail against the sun coming up in the morning.

Times and players have changed, tours are sardine-jammed as players and administrators attempt to squeeze every commercial opportunity out of every available minute.

The long tour with its tour games and formal functions has gone the way of the drawn Test. Nobody has the patience, and few modern players have the mental or practical toolkit to enable them to dig in for the long haul.

Ben Stokes’ team, famously averse to the notion of a draw, will play only a single three-day warm-up against the England Lions, at Lilac Hill before the first Test in Perth on November 21 and Lawd Botham, speaking on the Old Boys New Game podcast reckons they’re having a lend.

[It will be] ‘Alright mate, how are you? Good on ya’ and we’re going to go and perform? Not one [state match] which borders on arrogance. You’ve got to give yourself the chance. They are saying we play too much cricket … I don’t think you play enough.

The conditions are different when you play cricket in Australia: the sun, the heat, the bounce, the crowd, the Aussie players, you’ve got to get used to all that. You’re not playing against the Australian cricket team, you’re playing against Australia — 24.5 million people.

Graham Gooch, concedes he “might be a bit of a dinosaur” but in an interview with Nick Hoult of The Telegraph he was generally of the same mind as Botham.

We have a great chance this time, especially if we do well in the first Test, but you need to immerse yourself in Australia-style cricket first by playing that type of hard-nosed game against sides that want to turn you over. Playing against ourselves… there is a chance they will want to give all the bowlers a bowl so you will get people coming on and off the field. For a pro it is just not a serious game. When your career record is on the line in a first-class match it means something. When you change that to glorified practice… I just don’t understand it.

Gooch questions why England will play an essentially meaningless three white ball games against New Zealand before its intra-club game at Lilac Hill.

I don’t get why you have that New Zealand series there. You want to prepare for the Ashes. It is the holy grail to win down there. We’ve only won four times in 55 years, so why would you not put preparation a priority? The only mitigation I’m told is Australia’s state sides will put a second team out against you. It is just leaving it to chance.

Perhaps it is an overcorrection.