Lads' Army

CP on the adventures of Harry Brook

And as it turns out. The whole thing started with a bang.

The news, as reported by The Telegraph, is that on the night before England’s third and final ODI in New Zealand, white-ball captain Harry Brook was struck by a bouncer in Wellington in the early hours.

Elegance personified

“I apologise unreservedly and will work hard to ensure this does not happen again,” was Brook’s concluding line from his statement.

I will work hard to ensure I don’t get so pissed the night before a game that I get in a scrap with a bouncer. Fair play, Harry. Set your sights high.

It’s the finale this England tour didn’t expect, but did deserve. An underwhelming showing from start to finish, bookmarked with moments of nonsense. Cash falling out of players pockets in the street, of Ben Duckett being drunk on the street (allegedly), of a morning run arranged in Noosa that was only attended by three players, of Jamie Smith’s shot in the first innings at Sydney, of Will Jacks’ shot in the second innings at Sydney. Please can we all go home.