Pisspur

GH on Australia's white ball stumbles

Personal leave

Nine years ago, in the wake of Australia’s first defeat in a Test match against Bangladesh, an email ricocheting round the inboxes of state and national elite coaching and management achieved a certain cult status. It quickly became known as the “Café in Dhaka” despatch, as that’s where the sender, high-performance czar Pat Howard, reported composing what he acknowledged was ‘not a supportive email’.

I am sitting in a café in Dhaka hotel at the conclusion of the first Test loss ever to Bangladesh. I am personally embarrassed and take accountability and happy to accept any criticism that comes our way.

For some of you sitting here in Dhaka you are fully aware of how poor a result this is and you have a material opportunity to address in the next few days. Rightly the system is often judged on the outcomes of the national team. As you can imagine there are many questions being asked of us, and I think they are fair.

Howard launched into a culpa tua that didn’t miss anyone: ‘To the CA Team Performance—When you go home at the end of the day, does what you do actually make a difference? CA spends over $100m on players’ wages and teams, all in the effort of producing great national teams. We have failed, you have failed and I have failed and it is not good enough.’ He concluded: ‘Understand change is coming, pressure is unavoidable and if you are not up to accepting that, you are in the wrong place.’

At the time, Howard’s histrionics were rather ridiculed. The subcontinent was hard. Bangladesh were pretty good, and their spinners on tailored pitches formidable. In any case, Australia squared the series in Chittagong, and people moved on - until the whole over-the-top, whatever-it-takes, we-never-cross-the-line system blew up seven months later in Capetown. Nobody will circulate such an email after last night’s one-day international in Mirpur - our managerialism has grown too suave and self-assured. Yet it is hard to recall a game in which an Australian team has been so outperformed in all departments, including pace bowling, with Nahid Rana knots faster and lots nastier than anything at Josh Inglis’s disposal, and fielding, where the effort was ham-handed at best. It’s continued a low-key post-Ashes shambles in which Australia has won three of eleven white ball matches on the road, two of those against Oman and Ireland.

Certain pleas in mitigation can be entered - limited availabilities, the desire to try new talent and to conduct experiments. But Australian cricket has not historically excused mediocrity; indeed, it has prided itself on depth and uniformity of excellence. And remind me: why exactly is Travis Head on ‘personal leave’ after an Indian Premier League season earning $2.5 million and averaging 27 for Sunrisers Hyderabad? The attitude used to be that the IPL formed part of players’ ‘rest period’; if they should play it, on their own heads, and bodies, be it. We have moved on to resting players from the rigours of their rest. But better be nice to Trav or he’ll go off and play The Hundred, or even the Saudis!