"Snicko needs to be sacked!"

PL reports on controversies and England's continuing calamity.

“ESTRAGON: I can’t go on like this.
VLADIMIR: That’s what you think.”
― Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

Put a fork in them, I think they’re done. Par-boiled in Perth. Baked in Brisbane. Cooked to a crisp under an Adelaide sun.

It might have just been the heat, but there was a funereal air to the final session of what is just the eighth day of this Ashes series.

England had kept promising to show up, fans had tidied the house in expectation of their arrival, baked a cake and chilled the drinks, but like Godot they’ve failed to appear.

At close of play, England is 8-213 and still 158 runs behind what was billed as the worst Australian side since 2010. A side diminished by the unavailability of Cummins for the first two Tests, Khawaja for the second, Smith for the third and Hazlewood for the entire series.

Ben Stokes (45no from 151 deliveries) and Jofra Archer (30 from 48) have refused to go quietly, but it will take a hell of an effort to right this sinking ship.

It’s all a shame, really, as this was the day when you thought the visitors could inflict some damage on an Australian bowling attack that’s been having a gay old time of it thus far.