That's Entertainment

GH has mixed feelings

‘Are you not entertained?’ roars Maximus to the crowd in Gladiator, having shredded a gang of clanking, helmeted assassins. In Melbourne’s collosseum counterpart, we certainly have been. Quite what else this TikTok cameo of a Test conveyed needs a fuller reckoning.

England won a match of ambiguous status. It was their first Test victory in Australia for fifteen years - cause for thanksgiving. It was played before monster crowds - cause for qualified rapture, given the truncated duration. It was part of the Ashes - the cricket world’s most storied rivalry. It could also have no bearing on the Ashes - they are already in Australian custody. There are, strictly speaking, no wholly dead rubbers in the World Test Championship. But Australia is streeting the competition in this WTC cycle, while England drift. This was a Norwegian Blue of a game, an ex-Test match.

Important

Irrelevant

Still, England’s victory is a blessing. Imagine had Australia won a two-day Test match - perfectly conceivable had Steve Smith had the chance to send England in. The 10mm matt of grass and the atmosphere of chaos suited Ben Stokes’s team. With England needing 150 to win today, Michael Neser bowled a ragged delivery down the leg side, Ben Duckett missed a scatter-brained ramp, and Alex Carey dropped a straightforward take standing back. It wasn’t Bazball, or Ronball; it was pure village, and in that sense strangely companionable. To be fair, Duckett repeated the shot an over later for six to the finest of legs. But, despite the efforts of Bethell and Stokes, victory accrued not in the grand manner. Instead, rather appropriately, four scrambling leg byes from Harry Brook’s thigh pad sufficed.