The Curious Incident of the Fog in the Night-Club

PL stares into England's murky reflecting pool

Rob Key and Brendon McCullum repairing the pool

The algae is back, the new paint job flaking, pieces floating to the surface, and with the third and final Test of the series against New Zealand drawing breath on a dry track, there’s room to gather around England’s Reflecting Pool and, well, marvel at just how much murkier things have become since the post-Ashes repair job.

It is, after hearing the results of three inquiries and listening closely to the obfuscations of the key players, quite possible that we know less now about what happened in Chelsea’s Rex Rooms than at any point prior.

Once we’d been told to worry about Ben Stokes mental health. Now we’ve been reassured that this is a misunderstanding.

Once we were certain that curfews were breached. Now we’re not even sure there was such a thing as a curfew. Ben Stokes certainly doesn’t seem to think so.

Once we were certain that a Saracens player had launched an attack or two on an innocent Gus Atkinson, now we can’t even be sure of that.