Welcome to Perth

GH reports the last preliminaries and the first toss - England to bat

Here’s the view from Optus Stadium this morning; and here’s the view out the window of my Shit Box From Hell.

Yes, Cricket Et Al is on the road again, and Pete and I are here to take you through all five Tests of this Ashes summer. The weather is glorious, the crowds are steadily swelling, the flags of St George are steadily annexing the fenceline….

…while the players performing their preliminary rites. I enjoyed watching Cameron Green meticulously painting his run-up, extent and take-off point, at each end, with all the concentration of a boy toiling over his homework.

We’re conscious, as always, of the passage of time. Even Monty Panesar is having a moment, while Alastair Cook’s polished helmet of hair is showing the first flecks of grey, reminding me that his Test century here was nineteen years ago. I’ve seen David Warner in confab with Steve Smith downstairs and Baz McCullum out on the field - they may have been complimenting Davey on his sharp seersucker suit. The air is one of deceptive relaxation. I’m always sympathetic to opening batters in these circumstances, whose day can be so different, depending on the imminent toss of a coin. If you’re Usman Khawaja and Jake Weatherald, or Zac Crawley and Ben Duckett, you’ve always half an eye on this, don’t you?

Pete reports that there are 11mm of grass on the pitch but it is hard as a cat’s head….

…so England’s Ben Stokes has elected to bat - as Steve Smith concedes he would have done.

I won’t disturb your now total absorption in that all-important, nation-stopping first ball in twenty minutes. It suffices to say, again, thanks to all our subscribers for your support in starting Cricket Et Al on its summer’s journey - the Shit Box doesn’t pay for itself.